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M DEVOTION
The fact that M took me almost five years to complete has been a subject of amazement for many people. I’ve been frequently asked, how can I devote myself to a single project for such a long period of time. I think the question answers itself: Devotion. Isn’t that what art is all about? Devoting oneself to a subject of passion.
In these hard times when art has been squeezed in to a quartile, I suppose it can seem odd and almost arrogant for someone to take her time. But to me, art is about seeing. And seeing is always a very personal process that requires time, patience and often painful honesty. Because what ever the subject of art might be, as an artist, you can’t look past yourself. So sometimes you just have to wait and live to be able to understand what it is that you’re really looking at and be prepared for the fact that you might not like what you see.
M was just that for me. Like the protagonist in the film, I too was caught up in it’s limbo. It was a very personal, timeless space, full of carnal and frightening visions. I felt like I was subjected to emotions that I could not fully control or understand. I use the word subjected purposefully here, because at times I truly did feel that what I was experiencing wasn’t coming from me, but through me.
I was mistaken of course. Even though Marilyn Monroe was my inspiration for the film, in the end M turned out to be a deeply personal work. Somewhere along the way I realized that the link between sexuality and death, that to me so profoundly defines Monroe’s fate, is a link that we all share with her. That the ancient bond between these two forces is in fact an integral part of humanity. And that the myth that is Marilyn, holds in itself a reflection of our own dreams, our desires and our losses.
I have worked with M independently, firmly believing in my vision, and so it touches me greatly that the film has been chosen for the 33rd Venice International Film Critics Week.